He girds us with strength

"As for God, His way is blameless;

The word of the Lord is tried;

He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.

For who is God, but the Lord?

And who is a rock, except our God,

The God who girds me with strength,

And makes my way blameless?

He makes my feet like hinds' feet,

And sets me upon my high places."

Psalm 18:30-33

We had another ultrasound this afternoon. We were able to get a good long look at our precious baby, but our little one's heart has stopped beating. It seems he or she stopped growing a little over a week ago. The technician was very nice and very thorough, an answer to our prayers, and she looked for a very long time but there was definitely no heart beat. Because the baby's measurement is so far behind what it should be (I should be 9 weeks and 1 day today), we have no doubt that God has taken our baby's life. Although we do not understand, we know we serve a sovereign and all-wise God who does all things according to the counsel of His will. The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all (Psalm 103:19).

After the ultrasound, we were able to get in to see the OB doctor in that practice that I trust the most (another answer to prayer!), and she spent a lot of time with us. After considering all the options, it seems that the best course of action is to proceed with another D&E procedure. We are scheduled for 10 am tomorrow. Because this is our second loss, this baby's chromosomes will be tested and there are some more tests I will have in a couple of weeks.

We loved our baby. He or she was real, a living person with a soul. We had so many hopes and dreams for his or her future. We prayed that God would use our son our daughter mightily in His kingdom. And although He has taken this little one's life, He can still use these circumstances to further His kingdom in a mighty way. We pray that in some way, our sufferings may be used to draw others to Christ.

The peace and calmness that God has given our hearts is something quite astounding. I have been shocked all afternoon at the peace that is flooding my soul, and the joy He has given even in the midst of such outwardly horrible circumstances. This peace can be explained only by His grace, which is all-sufficient for us. We know that so very, very many people are praying for us, and that is humbling and comforting and such a blessing. Please pray that God will give us peaceful, uninterrupted rest tonight. Please pray that He will guide the hands of Dr. A. who will be performing this procedure tomorrow. Please pray that my body will heal quickly, and that I will have no infection, scarring, or any other complications from this procedure. Please pray that we might be a testimony for our Lord through this. And pray, friends, that in God's time, He will bless us with the children we long for so much. But most of all, please pray that we will desire and seek Christ alone. May this be the cry of our hearts:

More love to Thee, O Christ,

More love to Thee;

Hear now the prayer I make

On bended knee.

This is my earnest plea:

More love, O Christ, to Thee;

More love to Thee, more love to Thee.

Once earthly joy I craved,

Sought peace and rest,

Now Thee alone I seek;

Give what is best.

This all my prayer shall be:

More love, O Christ, to Thee;

More love to Thee, more love to Thee.

Let sorrow do its work;

Send grief and pain;

Sweet are Thy messengers,

Sweet their refrain

When they can sing with me,

More love, O Christ, to Thee;

More love to Thee, more love to Thee.

Then shall my latest breath

Whisper Thy praise,

This be the parting cry

My heart shall raise,

This still my prayer shall be:
More love, O Christ, to Thee;

More love to Thee, more love to Thee.

--Elizabeth Prentiss